actellsall

I guess everyone starts to drift apart eventually....

I just want, no I need for this to be over! I'm all done... ready to move on....

Sooooo shit's looking up! I like that!

Practically 100% healed and I'm happy.... wow 2009 is doing something right..

let's keep this up.

I have been so fucking happy lately.. i really really hope it stays that way! I know alot of my happiness is because of my Pickle. I'm glad I'm here first girl and I hope i continue to keep learning from and talking to her cuz well this could be one of the greats i always read about..!

fingers cross i can see my ex and just be happy to call her a friend!!...



Love life and let it love you Back!

I almost forgot how AMAZING it is to be talking to a girl that is DRAMAFREE! One that can make me smile by telling corny jokes and calling me Bubba. One that genuinely likes my company and the company of my friends and doesn't try to change me. I really enjoy just talking to her and learning more about her. She had probably the worst childhood I can imagine and she is still independent and happy. Yep I'm crushing like a fcuking skool girl and enjoy every second..

It is 100% better once you stop slacking cuz well first kisses are the BEST!!



Love life and let it love you BACK!

Day 4 of 2000 fine. and it is really startin off great. I have a new tat, a new romantic interest and she is AWESOME! i ended an era. I finally, after legit 2 years, stopped tearing at the sutures!! I've come to realize everything can be okay, if you have friends that care about you and want you around. I've found that happy medium. I just hope it last, I really do.

So I haven't done this in a while but I wanted to do my little updates.
I have been in a really dark place since my loss but I think I may be finally finding some light. I had about a 3 hour convo with Emma, we loved and it was great. I got all my shit out and hoping for the best. For both of us.
My brother will be home in like 10 days and I couldn't be more happy. I realized today I need him more than I thought.
My bud Felt is having hard times but I want you to know im always here so don't be afraid.
Anyway for all my friends who feel like they are falling.. We got no where to go but UP!

Daytona Beach is showing us a fantastic time. The locals are great people minus the dick last night that jacked us. But beside that nonsense the locals are showing us a bomb ass time. 5 more days to go. And I don't wanna leave ever. B e a utiful weather.

Leave love!

So tonight is def gonna be a good one.

Cynthia is back in Lowell! Which i love, and we are going to Taboo tonight.
Well originally it was just gonna be Kate the great, Vernca, the boys and I. But Cynthia coming is sweet especially cuz Ver can't anymore.
We are gonna get crunk and go dancing. I live for great nights like tonight!!!!

Update:

Skool is pretty great i found my belongings and hang with people as crazy as i am. Also i keep up with some of my high skool loves like; Emma, Adri, Cynthia, Max & Liv. It's like i finally got shit figured out and it is amazing...

I am loving life and letting it love me right back!!!!

So i am really loving this space i am in.. and where my life thus far has led me.  I have an amazing support system of really great friends... like Emmuh. (who i could never thank enough)..

And as far as the love life. I like being single and playing this field. I'm not looking for love anymore just having a good time. Hey i'm young.

I've also realized that... I'm young & life is too short to SWEAT THE SMALL SHIT.

i live everyday for its value.. anyway yea life is pretty good.!.

So once again the girl is single and sometimes it makes me happy and others.... GOD i miss her so..

Upside of life Cynthia started talking to me again which is AMAZING!!!! she called a few nites ago we talked and we are good. i love it cuz really what was i gonna do with out her. well survive but still i like her in my life.!!.

Hanging with Mr. Felt and EmmaLove and Driztastic tonite after work which is swell i need to be surrounded by some good people that love me and vice versa.. yes Corey you got a spot in my heart too!

Classes are gonna be great this semester too i feel it but Psych oh its gonna get heated i can tell..





"No matter what you say about love
I keep coming back for more
Keep my hand in the fire
Sooner or later, I'll get what I'm asking for"

    Going away tomorrow for a bit. Excited yet not. Can't wait to see my brother and watch him graduate but then hours after that he is leaving for Hawaii. Missing my baby turn 18 seems wrong. She was there for me and last year i was there for her, just wish i could be there this yea..

    I know when i get back we have things to talk about because I feel it. She is slipping from my grasp and it sucks but really all we need is some one on one time and shit will be fine. I know that for a fact!

    Going on about a month of nothing from Cynthia it's weird. I miss her a ton, but I love Barbara and i can't see what could be wrong with that. Hopefully one day we can reconnect because that would be bomb.

    Need to take  more pictures. Recently i have been so uninspired. which sucks because photography is my life. I have a few ideas for this project and for future pictures i guess i just gotta get out and make it happen really..

Whatever till next time i guess....

This year truly was a nutty year. i started this year with Barbara and somehow I am ending with her.. which means alot to me. We had our ups and extremely low downs and still i couldn't have ended and started a year with a better girl.

My friends this year were constant well to the very end when i lost one. Emma never has and never will stop being there for me and 2008 won't be different. Jamie is always right down the street no matter what. 2008 I kno he is moving but still he will always in a sense be right down the street for me.

I can't wait to see how i will ring in 2008 but were every i am. i will be surrounded with love!!!!

so this morning my brother comes into my room and tells me "oh yea Sunday me and Jessica are having a civil service" and i'm like what the crap is that? turns out they are getting married in the Hamptons...WWHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAT?

I love Jessica like 100 percent and i kno it was bound to happen sooner or later it just is really really soon.
But yea Sunday if you happen to be at Hampton Beach and wanna see a wedding do it...


PS my mother is going crazy..hahah

What a fantastic song it along with a little respect always make want to dance.. Plus the lyrics and video for young folks is really good...



If I told you things I did before, told you how I use to be. would you go along with someone like me?